Sticks and Stones

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

What a very untrue statement this is. Yet, we said it as kids and we teach it to our own children.

Are we all aware of just how much of an impact what we say has on the people around us?

Do we realize that the way we treat someone may in fact make a lifelong impact?

Chances are the answer to both of the questions is "No". No, we do not know what kind of difference we make in someone's life......whether it be negative or positive. The fact is that the wounds from sticks and stones actually heal much faster than those caused by words. And when the damage is caused by words, the evidence of the pain is much deeper than a mere scab or scar.

I have always known the way people have treated me in the past has had an effect on me and the decisions that I have made in my life. However, I just recently have been able to see how my son was effected by the way he was treated.

I can remember him liking girls. He was about 11 and attending a summer program at their new school. I thought it would be great for the boys to meet some of the teachers and studenst before the school year started. He came home talking about a certain girl. How nice she was, how beautiful her hair was, etc. They were pretty good friends through the 6 weeks of that Summer. Before school started in the Fall, he was so excited to get to see her again. However, when he got to school she acted like she did not even know him. As a matter of fact, I believe her and her friends were even deliberately cruel to him. This went on for several years. They ended up being friends again, but not until he spent all that time hurting. There were many times during his early teen years that things like this occurred. He would be interested in a girl and she would be just downright hateful to him. He would often ask me why girls would rather be with a guy that is abusive to them than to be with someone that would treat them the way they deserved to be treated. I had no answer for him, because for many years I was just like those girls.

I am in no way justifying his decision to be gay by the way others have treated him in the past. Ultimately it is our own personal decision. But God has been placing some of these people from his past in my path. As I look back on what role they have played in our son's life, I see a lot of hurt and a lot of rejection.

On Mondays, me and my husband have "date day". We typically spend a morning getting around slowly, then we go for lunch and a drive. Yesterday I mentioned these thoughts to my Billy. I was talking about the people from Race's early teen years that treated him so bad. The girls that were downright mean and hateful to him. The girls that he liked and was always rejected. I asked my husband if he thought all of this had anything to do with Race's decision to be gay. His reply was simple. "A person can only take so much hurt". He was absolutely right. That "so much" can be different for all people. Some of us can tolerate a lot before we are broken, and others have a much mroe sensitive heart.

I do not write this to ridicule anyone at all. I am also not saying that every time someone says they like you, you should date them. Or that if you do not like them back the way they like you, you are wrong. I am simply saying that we all need to be more aware of the way we treat others. Because regardless of your intentions, the hurt is still there. "Sticks and stones may very well break bones, but words cut deep into the heart."

My prayer today is that God would reveal himself to all of those that are hurting at the hands of others. That He would someone be able to show them the wonderful healing powers of HIs love. I have suffered at the hands of others too. Truthfully, we all have. I praise God for the comfort and healing that He has brought into my life. I pray that everyone in this world would know that feeling. It is a feeling that surpasses all understanding. A feeling that is better than anything I have ever experienced. If you are hurting and would like to know more about this healing power of Christ, please let me know. I would love to share more with you about how God works in my life each and every day.

In Christ's Love,

Natalie